i-suck-dick

foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

prideforgirls
  • Larry: hi
  • OitNB fandom: WOW SATAN. GO AWAY LARRY NO ONE LIKES YOU.
  • Alex: *smuggles drugs for an international drug cartel, cheats on girlfriend with piper, manipulates piper into smuggling drug money and later gets her imprisoned, and then tells her to lie during trial but doesn't lie, herself, so piper stays in prison while she gets released*
  • OitNB fandom: wow you're perfect I wish I had a girlfriend like you